3 Things that everybody tells you but never tells you how to do

“ You must control your anger”, “ Always love yourself”, “ Stay away from toxic people” etc heard them before right?

But has anybody ever shed a light on how to do that? They just tell you to do this or that, it all goes on and on with no clarity.

Here are a few things we want you to know from our personal experience. I hope it will help you deal with things driving you crazy and the things that you'll learn hard way later.

1. Control Your Anger

Anger issues are faced by nearly 80% of Indians as per statistical studies.

Anger is a fleeting annoyance or full-fledged rage. We all have experienced it, in one or another but if we don't control it. It can cause problems at work, in our relationships, and in the overall quality of our life.

Anger can be deep-rooted and might need therapy but with these modern-day problems of peer pressure, the stress of excelling in studies, lack of love, family disputes, lack real friends. These problems are affecting the mind of youth deeply and leading to frustration and annoyance making the person lash out even on a trivial issue

How can you control it?

Firstly counting backward or forwards 1-100 is a no-no, does not work, it'll frustrate you more.

1. The first and the foremost thing to know is “YOU ARE NOT ALONE” (as mentioned before 80%of Indians are angry, and as per a study by Bangalore mirror 79.4% of its youth is aggressive)

2. If a conversation makes you wanna lash out just go away without saying anything.

3. Go someplace think about the whole thing, analyzing does not require you to show anger or saying nothing works. Go to a place that makes you happy.

4. Use humor to release your tension.

When you realize that you are having anger issues, the most important thing is to think about what makes you angry and find a solution to that, ignoring the reason for your anger will make it firmer and deeply seated in your conscience

1. Don't hold a grudge, forgive people more often

2. Think twice before you speak

3. Talk to people you trust and someone preferable, elder or a professional.

4. You could try writing a diary writing or talking about your thoughts will relieve you or the rage

Control your anger, before it controls you

2. Love yourself

Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological, and spiritual growth.

Self-love means having regard for your well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Self-love means not settling for less than what you deserve.

Thinking that you are not as beautiful, not intelligent enough, do not have a good job, or lacking a skill makes you inferior or makes you think that you are out of place.

If you think this, you need to get out of it immediately

Cast out the idea of being perfect. A perfect body, IQ, and life doesn't exist (what is seen on the internet is masking the crippling mental issues, photo edits, and severe health issues because of improper lifestyle)

A must watch video

https://youtu.be/yWdGFSybRe4

(Though she talks about women it is the harsh reality faced by both genders in their own ways )

1. The unrealistic expectations of the society can never be met (meeting the goals of “Sharma Ji ka beta” will lead you to run with the herds and not think out of the box). If the people around you do not get what you want to do, don't promise, prove it as the famous saying “ Actions speak louder than words”

2. Self-care is not selfish. Being called selfish is just a fear which prevents you from going on the path of happiness and doing something for yourself

3. Working on both your mental and physical self is self-love on either of the ones doesn't work. When you work on yourself physically it makes you feel attractive and increases your confidence, working on mental health will help you deal with the negativity, peer pressure and help you set goals clearly and work on them, and have a work-life balance.

4. Stop comparing yourself to others, by comparing yourself you are losing the unique you and trying to be someone else.

5. With the increasing influence of social media, there is something very important: knowing who are your real friends, having a trustworthy circle and people who push you to be the best version of self, because you are a reflection of the five people you spend your most time with you keep sculpting yourself.

An article I suggest you read

https://www.lifehack.org/634714/the-hidden-power-of-every-single-person-around-you

Video: https://youtu.be/AWUOq7FEuIA

3. Everybody’s journey is different

The events that take place in your life. The people you cross paths with and the lessons you get in every event are different from others, so thinking that if someone successful took that path and you do the same doesn't ensure you being successful

Ever heard someone saying that I studied only one week you did longer still you didn't get as much as I did in exams, well happens some people do remember just by reading once but the others need the same to be fed multiple times This shouldn't demotivate you because your journey and hard work will pay off someday what you learned will act as a catalyst and give you confidence and you ll know it.

If you fail try making alterations in what you did earlier make a timetable. It'll fail again for sure but don't give up don't be harsh on yourself if you fail to reach a target on day one as a habit takes more than 21 days to be built and only 1 day to be broken.

Making changes in self, your lifestyle, and your approach is not changing yourself it is embracing yourself for good

Rtr Srishti Srivastava

Rtr Niti Thakkar

Editors 2020-2021

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